Monday, September 02, 2013

Joe The Liar's Series of Unfortunate Events

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience ~ Source of quote unknown.

Joe Truth sat down on a wooden crate next to the dumpster where he had just dove for his evening meal. The mattress-sized piece of cardboard he would use for his bed that evening was propped against the wall behind the garbage receptacle. This area in the alleyway behind a fast food establishment was, for the time being, the place Joe was calling home. Joe opened a Styrofoam container and proceeded to chow down on one of the stiff dried out burgers the dumpster had yielded.

Joe scratched at his scruffy flea-infested beard, contemplating the troubles that had lead to his homelessness. It all started when he foolishly submitted the wrong headphone specs to the manufacturing plant in Vietnam. Specs that were based on the likeness of a famous actress from whom Joe had neglected to receive any kind of authorization. For that reason he was sued by his only investor, William Hartenbaum. William was furious with Joe when he was served with a court order demanding the headphones be destroyed. William threatened to destroy Joe for his shitheadedness, and he had.

Joe's lawyer tried to convince the judge that his submitting the wrong design specs was just a dumb mistake and not willful or malicious, so he would be able to discharge the remainder of his debt to William by filing for bankruptcy, but William's high-priced team of lawyers argued otherwise... and the judge ruled against him! After liquidating all his assets and paying William what he could he was still several hundred thousand dollars shy!

A short while later Joe started drinking and soon lost his job. Then his wife left him... and took his beagle Dudley with her! With nothing left to live for Joe contemplated suicide, but he was too much of a coward to follow through. That's when he started performing sex acts for money. Every day Joe found himself giving dozens of strange men oral pleasure simply so he could get money to shoot up with heroin. Joe had no doubt that if this went on much longer he would end up dead, which would be fine by him.

Suddenly the back door to the burger joint burst open and the franchise owner appeared. Pumping his shot gun he growled, "get out from behind my establishment or I'll fill your hide with buckshot, you worthless vagrant". Joe left as quickly as he was able. Not knowing where to go he wandered the neighborhood. It began to rain lightly, then heavily. Soon poor Joe was soaked to the bone. Passing by his old house Joe noticed the for sale sign that had been placed in his front lawn was missing.

Curious, Joe decided to peak in a window. What he saw shocked him. Inside he recognized the man that had ruined his life, William Hartenbaum. William was sitting on his couch, his beagle Dudley at his feet... and Mrs. Truth sitting next to him! Joe couldn't believe it when they started to make out. After a while Joe and the former Mrs. Truth moved to the bedroom where they quickly undressed and jumped into bed. A horrified Joe Truth could not watch as William made wild passionate love to his ex-wife. From her moans of pleasure it was clear she was enjoying herself quite a bit.

A sickened Joe sat down next to the bedroom window and puked up the old burgers he had eaten earlier. Dusk was approaching, so Joe decided to use the tool shed in the back yard to get some shuteye out of the rain. Using a bag of bird seed as a pillow and a canvas tarp as a blanket, Joe curled up on the floor and tried to go to sleep.

Early the next morning Joe opened the door of the shed and walked by the bedroom window. Inside his wife was fast asleep in the arms of William, her head resting on his chest. "Damn him!" an angry Joe muttered. Walking around to the front of the house Joe saw William's Ferrari in the driveway. Grabbing a pointed rock Joe started scratching the crap out of the cherry red paint job.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing!" a surprised William shouted when he looked out the front window and saw a filthy homeless man scratching his car. Running out the front door he swung and punched the hated bum as hard as he could in the nose. Joe screamed in pain as blood spurted from his shattered schnoz. Weak from hunger Joe was unable to fight back as William continued to pummel him with his fists. "Please stop!" Joe begged, but William swung and knocked out all his front teeth.

Joe fell to the ground and lay there not moving as William commenced kicking him violently in the chest and gut with steel-toed boots. Also a few times in the crotch, pulverizing his genitals. Joe felt his ribs crack with the next kick; after that he blacked out. Was this the end? Joe hoped it was. He wouldn't be around to see it, but if William was arrested for his murder... at least that would be something.

SWTD #199, PIF #21.

56 comments:

  1. Gee, a hate post, who would have thought?
    What a surprise!
    I guess not, coming from the SHITHEAD king.
    You are predictable.
    Anon was right, that was not me, but you won't believe that; which only makes you the idiot SHITHEAD king.
    You are dam right he took my words, and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
    I always knew you were a hate filled ass hole. Easy to tell by all the hate posts you write about individuals.
    I didn't know you were such a stupid hate filled ass hole. My mistake, lesson learned.
    Now on with writing hate the rest of your sorry life.

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    1. I thought you said I was Steve? Proof that Steve and the Anon from the Lies 101 blog are one in the same. Here is one of his comments copied over...

      Anonymous said...
      [September 1, 2013 at 7:34 PM]

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
      You OK dude
      It's not so bad that you admitted lying twice, or that you have been outed as "Steve"
      What's bad is you have now proven you are, and have been crowned as the biggest SHITHEAD in blog land. Deservedly so.
      Get a grip dude.
      Get back to writing your hate/attack posts.
      BY BUY BYE SHITHEAD
      RN RN RN RN RN
      KING OF SHITHEADS


      I didn't "fall" for anything. I used the clues to deduce who you are, and that would be a shithead.

      Delete
    2. FYI, Steve... you are banned. Don't bother using the "Steve" account to comment here again. I will delete you as soon as I see "Steve" and that picture of the Border Collie that you stole.

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  2. Should Joe live, or should he die? I say he's dead, but, if I write another installment I could reveal that Joe lived (somehow). If you comment please let me know what you think happened to Joe... the former truth teller who is now a liar (clearly this is what becoming a Republican does to a person... or to at least some people).

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    1. "Two Thumps Up" comment get two thumbs down from me. Removed because the "Blacks are criminals" racist content was off topic.

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    2. Wow some nice spinning going on in here. What happened to Freedom of Speech?

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    3. What happened to Freedom of Speech? Nothing. D.S. is not the government, so he has the right to decide who gets to be published here and who doesn't. Too many people like J.T. don't know this basic part of the 1st Amendment, so they say stupid stuff like "What happened to Freedom of Speech?" And they are cons. So who's surprised.

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    4. Indeed, George Whyte. If they think I'm violating their first amendment rights why do they not report me? Hell, they should file a class action lawsuit against Blogger and get them to remove the comment moderation ability from bloggers under their Blogger accounts.

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  6. FYI, D.S. "Two Thumbs UP" or as he should be called "Too F***ed Up" is a spammer. He's been all over the blogs spreading his idiocy. Spammers like him probably get get paid to do this by some con outfit. Good you recognized "Too F***ed Up" for what he is.

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    1. He may belong to some Right-Wing Conspiracy Organization.

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    1. "Without US Conservatives, that ASS-HOLE George Whyte would have nothing to say..."

      It was so much nicer when folks like F.M. were on their meds.

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    1. I appreciate your heartfelt apology Steve. Given what you said about me on Joe's blog, however, I am inclined to decline your request for forgiveness. You can continue to beg, but you need to apologize on Joe's blog as well. AND stop this silly nonsense of denying it was YOU who published anonymously there. If your apology is sufficiently contrite I MIGHT consider forgiving you. I stress "might".

      Said apology would include admitting that you are the anonymous commenter on Joe's blog, that everything you said about me is a lie, and that YOU are a shithead.

      In any case, you are still banned, which is why I deleted your comment. Please do not publish again until you make your apologies and admissions.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    3. For the record, the above comment by me is a joke. Steve did not apologize. The idiot is now accusing me of "lying".

      The comment by me below -- in response to a comment by Dennis Marks (D. Lexmarks Luther) that he deleted himself -- is also a joke. Dennis did not try to sell me a printer.

      Two joke comments that anyone with an IQ above room temperature could have figured out were jokes... which explains why Steve is saying I "lied".

      Delete
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    1. I own a HP deskjet that I purchased for $20 at Walmart during their Black Friday sale (ink cartridges included). I currently have two (one still in the box), so I have no interest in a Lexmark printer, thank you very much. Perhaps you can try selling your wares somewhere else? I appreciate you wanting to do well at your new job, but your comment is off topic, Dennis.

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    2. This blog has been removed by a comment administrator.

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    3. Further comments by Dennis are subject to removal by a blog administrator.

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  11. In the latest Progressive's so called “Post” you’ll find a Load of intelligent horse manure written about Ronald Reagan. One of America's greatest presidents. The man that history will remember as the first president to preside over eight years of unbroken peace. Comparing Reagan to other presidents is easy. In the past 10 or so presidents no one was even close to this man in accomplishments other than perhaps Jack Kennedy who came close in a number of ways: cutting taxes to stimulate the economy, accepting large deficits in order to step up the pace of the arms race, indulging in Cold War rhetoric. talking tough while maintaining the peace, using the CIA's covert capabilities rather than the Armed Forces' overt firepower to support his policies in the Third World, using a show of force rather than force itself in the Middle East while attempting to maintain an even-handed policy toward the antagonists. Reagan has also been very like Eisenhower in his tremendous personal popularity, as well as in his inability to use that popularity to promote the Republican Party.
    Therein lies the biggest difference between Reagan and the inept president we have in today’s White House.
    Let's put this in Layman's Terms. Playing Golf. Frequent Vacations. Ignoring Daily National Security Briefings, turning our Allies into enemies, becoming the laughing stock of the free world, Bowing DOWN to Arab Kings, Playing basketball, Partying with boring and racist celebrities, a blind eye to all of the madness that's been going on in the Mideast, etc. etc.
    Yes, we have these Ultra Liberals running the White House. And Foreign Policy is last on their priorities list. But in reality, he is an astonishingly complete coward, and a wimp of epic proportions.
    Let’s look at Iran for example. What are our leaders waiting for? For whenever Iran starts tossing bombs into enemy territory knowing we wont respond? Just like we have with Syria at this very moment. Looks like playing golf with Tiger Woods superceded the never ending violence/bombings throughout the Arab States.
    And We Were All Furious At Jimmy Carter! Yup, Well, Welcome To The Jimmy Carter Second Term! The Liberals/Progressives beloved Obama Hussein Obama thinks that he is a Master Politician on the Syrian and Mideast issues. He thinks that he has the upper hand ont the Tyrants, the Dictators, the Murderers. But lets not underestimate him, he really IS a cleaver though SLY and Cowardly president by handing the ball to Congress.
    He is turning "Crossing the Red Line" into a personal "Win = Win" situation.
    If Congress votes 'No' then he can blame them for being soft and making the U.S. look bad.
    But if Congress votes 'Yes' he can blame them if things turn out bad in Syria; or claim credit for following the Constitution if the intervention is a success. Pardon the armchair psychology, but I think he’s hiding from his own embarrassment by driving himself into a hole.
    What does he think is going to happen when we wait forever to deal with the crisis? Of coures any fool knows that whatever WMD’s they have is going to be moved and hidden! And then what? Are we going to once again bomb an Aspirin Factory?
    Bottom line is that the rest of the world is not supporting us. Why? But Obama is stuck with his Red Line stupidity and now he has to save face. So as Hillary would Screech," what difference does it make now."! The difference is that we do not have to shed anymore American blood over these Rag heads! We have done more than enough. What is going on in Syria is awful but until some other nations get on board i.e. the UN and NATO, I say stand down until they do, going it alone is a fools errand.
    It’s world wide knowledge that Obama is even a weaker pansy than Carter or Clinton. Hoping that his jive kumbaya,,hopey-changey bullshit would make the country stand behind him in this crisis that he created. Oweenie is just an abomination and an utter failure as a president period.

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    1. Speaking of horse manure, didn't someone once say that brevity is the soul of wit? In "Too F***ed Up" above, his comments reveal that he is witless.

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  12. I apologize for what I said before, I now admit that Obama is an Idiot for wanting to attack Syria. And if Obama should put boots on the ground in Syria HÉS TOAST.

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    1. Mr. Sanders,

      The above is an con impostor who took my name and avatar. If you look at my profile, you'll see I started my blogger profile on 3/13. The impostor's profile says May 2013.

      The cons do this all the time because they're no-balls cheats and liars and can't win arguments, so they resort to impersonating others.

      I've changed my avatar to an idiotic photo of Ronald Reagan. If they steal my identity and avatar again, they'll be spreading the stupid picture of their idol.

      Delete
    2. I clicked on you and it says "On Blogger since August 2013". Also, strange that this keeps happening to you. I wonder what's going on.

      Delete
  13. I guess that obama thinks this action with Syria will keep Benghazi off the table

    The problem is that others will pay the price. In some cases, people will be paying with their lives.

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    1. Mr. Sanders,

      The above "George Whyte" is an impostor and usual conservative cheat.

      Delete
  14. Dennis the Printer Guy: Rusty, and now Dervie is making himself feeling better by making imaginary statements and attacking you for saying them. Lol. He has spread this new crusade to a few blogs already. By the way, Rusty, you are no taker at all. Any money the gaming industry gets is given to it voluntarily. 100%.

    You are one weird printer guy, Dennis. I didn't make any "imaginary statements". I didn't "attack" Rusty any more than you did. I'm not on a "crusade", and I only talked about this on my blog (in response to a comment by Rusty) and Irrational's blog, where the discussion concerning Rusty's hatred for Muslims originated. And Rusty surely is a Taker. When you scam someone into giving you money for nothing they may be doing so "voluntarily", but that doesn't excuse the scammer. In any case, your desperate attempts to win back Rusty's affections by smooching on his posterior are quite funny.

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  15. Dervy,Dervy,Dervy.....you poor deluded dufuss. Son,do you actually believe millions of people visit Las Vegas each year to be "scammed?"

    If in fact you do believe a huge scam is being run on the general public could you perhaps be willing to use your legendary investigative powers and give a brief description how this scam works?

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    1. Of course I do not believe people are going to Vegas looking to get scammed. None the less that is what is happening.

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  16. Dervy son, you keep saying people are being scammed....now son,you do realize you sound completely idiotic when you state something as fact yet cannot back up your assertions.

    So Dervy my boy, if in your opinion you feel legalized gambling is underhanded just say that is your personal belief....not an actual fact. You would sound marginally smarter if you do.

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    1. It is my personal belief that it is a fact. You've never heard that "the House always wins"? In any case, what Rusty thinks sounds "completely idiotic" does not concern me. Rusty is a Taker and a Hater. Among the lowest of the low. Perhaps not as bad as a murderer or a rapist, but surely falling within the "human scum" category. Or, that is my opinion of Rusty based on his words. I don't know him so it is possible that Rusty could possesses some redeeming qualities that make up for his bad qualities, but I doubt it.

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    3. Dennis the printer guy: The house always wins when you go to see a movie, too. Gaming is just a form of entertainment, that's all.

      You think throwing money away is "entertainment"? Why don't you send me $100 bucks via Paypal. I'm holding a raffle. I'll let you know if you win. BTW, "winning" is the entertainment you'll derive from the process of sending me the money. Seeing as there is no way you can lose, I expect to receive that $100 ASAP. Hell, why not send me 1000 for ten times the "entertainment"?

      Delete
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  18. Sorry Dervy old boy, I must apologize, I'm not feeling very well and I really do agree that Obama is a bit off the wall and I was ashamed to say so because of all my previous posts. And I am here today to admit that Barack Obama is NOT The Messiah. And as for Eric Holder, he is a fraud and a crook. These two are more like Cheech and Chong on steroids, pot and crack. Obama and Holder have several things in common in that they both have fathers not born in America, they both have an extreme dislike for White people and Christians, they both hate the Constitution as written and they are being allowed to destroy America bit by bit without a fight so far.

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    1. Mr. Sanders, the above cheating liar is an impostor. Just link to its name and see that it has blocked any access to its blog information, such as when it started blogging, because I exposed the liar and cheat. I started my blog in August 2012, the above lying asshole did not. And the above lying asshole stole my avatar again.

      Too bad you've attracted liars and shitheads to your blog. You need to delete the assholes, otherwise people won't want to post on a blog where these assholes steal other bloggers identities, as the above asshole has.

      Thanks.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    3. Hello, are you having a nice day?

      Delete
    4. Comment above by an impostor pretending to by George Whyte removed.

      Delete
  19. I think "Guess Who" forgot to change the name on his account before posting the comment above impersonating George Whyte. The deleted comment above (looked at it in my email inbox) is EXACTLY the same as the one from "George Whyte". Caught in the act.

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  20. You've solved another case Sherlock....most impressive Holmes,most impressive!

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  22. I'd ask you what you don't give a shit about (something that isn't clear from your comment)... but I don't give a shit.

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  24. Steve, I already told you to stop whining and begging for me to forgive you. Your behavior here has been abominable and still I see no apologies by you published in response to the Joe Kelly post (another place where you acted like a complete ass). You are still banned.

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  25. You won't either, unless you apologize to me for falsely accusing me of being the anon at 101's blog.
    Keep watching. I'm planing a surprise for you for being such a lying SHITHEAD

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  26. Steve: You won't either, unless you apologize to me for falsely accusing me of being the anon at 101's blog.
    Keep watching. I'm planing a surprise for you for being such a lying SHITHEAD.


    Apologize for telling the truth about you Steve? Fat chance. I proved you and the Anonymous commenter on the 101 blog are one in the same. And what is with this "surprise"? I thought you didn't go in for hate? But these threats prove that the lying hypocrite Steve hates more than anyone.

    For the record, here is the proof (my comment as published on the "101" blog)...

    Steve (posting using his Blogger ID on my blog): I do see JMJ (your invented alter ego you used to attack other bloggers) has commenting privileges and the only liberal you allow to continuously post comments. Hummm.
    By sick shit. (8/23/2013 10:01 PM)

    Steve (posting anonymously on Joe Kelly's blog): His alter ego JMJ is the only liberal allowed to comment on his blog regularly, and RN bashes him all the time, yet, other liberals are banned from commenting. I have never seen JMJ comment on any other blog. JMJ's profile is more than suspect. ... by now RN shithead. (August 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM)


    Notice how similar the two comments are? Both refer to JMJ as a sock puppet of RN and both use the same "by" sign off when what Steve meant was "bye". Anonymous says he "copied" Steve, but the second comment isn't "copied", it is the same sentiment rephrased... indicating the thought came out of his (shit) head. Solid proof that the anonymous shithead on Joe Kelly's blog is the "Steve" who commented on this blog.

    FYI, you are still banned. I will let this comment stand so people can see that I am being threatened by a sick psycho (I may need this proof later).

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  27. I think Steve was on the grassy knoll......and he very well could be bigfoot....or Judge Crater,

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Comment moderation has temporarily been suspended. Although I may be forced to reinstate it if the trolls take advantage.