On My Birthday Being The Day On Which Death Is One Full Year Closer

Everybody is going to be dead one day, just give them time ~ Neil Gaiman (dob 11/10/1960) an English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, graphic novels, audio theatre, and films.

So this past Sunday (Christmas) was the day on which I was born. On Facebook a sister-in-law wished me a "happy birthday". In response I wrote "I now refer to it as the day I am one full closer to death". This is a view I adopted a few years ago. The SIL replied that she thought this is a "dismal outlook".

Yes, anyone who knows me knows that is my general disposition. I am not an optimistic person. On the other hand, declaring that my outlook is dismal; that struck me as judgmental, and that the judgment was not good. That I SHOULDN'T have that outlook. But, while my reason is that I am a pessimist, there are people who have this view regarding death who aren't.

This I know because just that day I had listened to someone express such a thought. "I think it gives me this more palpable sensation with being alive" Julia Sweeney said, explaining why she LIKES to contemplate death.

Julia Sweeney is an atheist. Atheism makes no sense to me, and (as an atheist) Julia Sweeney's view on death makes no sense to me. If she had expressed similar thoughts AS A CATHOLIC, then I'd say that makes some sense to me. And I'd say I agree with some of what she said. Some of what she said in a conversation with Marc Maron on 11/24/2014.

I just fininshed listening to the audiobook version of Julia Sweeney's It it's not one thing, it's your mother and I decided to seek out other audios of hers. She has a few books, but most of her output takes the form of what's called "autobiographical monologues". I'd heard God Said Ha! years ago. There is another titled Letting Go of God and I thought, well, I don't want to PAY to hear someone tell religion is ridiculous and there is no God, but I'll listen. Maybe if I can buy the 2-CD set cheap. Really cheap. I obtained "God said Ha!" cheap by buying it along with some other items on eBay (and therefore the shipping cost per item was lesser, whereas if you buy a CD on Amazon, the shipping itself is 3.99 per item. More than I was willing to pay in total).

So, after looking around, I found it was not available cheaply enough. But I did find it on YouTube. So I listened. And yes, she points out the ridiculousness of Christianity (much of which I was already aware of). But do I want to be an atheist? No, I do not. I couldn't live as an atheist. The ridiculousness in the Bible exists because it was written by men. I do not believe in Biblical inerrancy.

In fact, listening to "Letting go of God", while it did not convince me to become an atheist, it did convince me (even moreso) that my view that the Bible is NOT inerrant is correct. But that isn't a reason for me to leave the Christian faith. Julia Sweeney would have good reason to leave the Catholic faith, one of the more silly versions of Christianity, IMO. Because Catholics believe there exists an infallible representative of God here on earth.

And that leaders of the Catholic church can rewrite laws governing how Catholics live their lives. And frequently these laws don't have anything to do with what is in the Bible. For example, some years ago I heard that they got together and decided that Limbo no longer exists. Previously Catholics were taught that if a baby dies before being baptized that the baby's soul goes to Limbo. Now? I guess it just never existed. Although it is a totally made up concept to begin with.

My point is that Catholic nonsense gave Sweeney good reason to leave the Catholic faith. That would have been a very sensible thing to do, IMO. But that didn't mean she needed to abandon her faith all together. IMO. Although she does discuss this possibility in her "Letting go of God" monologue (switching religions). But ultimately decides there is no God.

Although some of her views on the matter of the afterlife remain Catholic in nature it seems. Or conforming to a religious view of the afterlife, which is why I found her thoughts on the matter a little perplexing. Thoughts expressed to Marc Maron on 11/24/2014 in a discussion for his WTF podcast.

This was following the release of her book, "If It's Not One Thing..." in 2013, and it's Julia Sweeney's life (in general) that they talk about. Death is a topic that comes up right away, and it's the first 4 minutes (roughly) that I decided to transcribe as follows...

Julia: I just bought a cemetary plot for myself in Spokane.

Marc: That's an uplifting way to start the show. Is it a nice plot?

Julia: It is. It's with our family. It's other people in the family. Actually, just this morning I paid the final check on it.

Marc: So, it's all ready to go.

Julia: Now I feel like, I don't have to visit Spokane that much anymore. I'm going to spend a long time there.

Marc: That's my post retirement plan.

Julia: Exactly.

Marc: Oh, my God. Do I need to get one of those? When do you get one of those?

Julia: I don't know because my husband and I kept going back and forth about it. Because he doesn't care at all about that. And wouldn't even discuss it. And the only reason I did is because I had a couple siblings die and other family members - and they're in this area we have visited in Spokane. You know, the cemetery. We were like a Mexican family. We'd go have a picnic at the cemetery with our [dead] relatives.

Marc: You did?

Julia: Oh, yeah.

Marc: But you're a Catholic Family?

Julia: Irish Catholic. We just had to stop by all the time. If we're on the North side, it like... We'll pop in and say hello to Henrietta...

Marc: Your grandparents?

Julia: Yeah. And so, it suddenly occurred to me that's meaningful. Not everyone has that. That's meaningful. And, I had happened to talk to this woman who sells cemetery plots there, and she goes... you know, the spot right next to your two brothers is available. And I was like... I'm in! I am so in. And then, I have two other siblings and I was trying to get them to buy the spots next to me, and they were like... I don't want to be next to Aunt Barbara.

Marc: Oh, really?

Julia: It was like... will my husband and I be together [said Julia's sister]? And then my other sibling [Julia's brother] was like... I don't want to be next to her husband.

Marc: Do you have to buy more than one [plot]?

Julia: You can have up to four... actually, we could all go in one plot. They just upped it from two people to four people. Can be in one plot.

Marc: Have they changed the distances, or is it...?

Julia: No, it's because people are cremated now. it used to be that you couldn't be cremated if you were Catholic.

Marc: Oh...

Julia: But they changed the rules. So now it's just a heyday at the cemetery. Because you can pack a bunch of people in a plot.

Marc: It's cheaper to cremate, I guess.

Julia: Oh, yeah. Especially if you're not in town when you die.

Marc: (laughs) Transportation is easier.

Julia: Right. You can go on the plane... you're carry-on.

Marc: It's funny. It's not morbid. I think Catholics are pretty good at that. The idea of having lunch at a cemetery, I think there's a comfort with death.

Julia: I find that so true. Actually my daughter just said - because my husband's [family], they're Jewish atheist basically... And proud 3rd generation Jewish atheist... and my daughter said to me recently... you know, Dad's side of the family, they don't talk about - they don't even believe in an afterlife. But they don't talk about people dying that much. But your side of the family, they all believe in this afterlife (even though she knows I don't). And yet, you're totally comfortable talking about being dead... this person is doing to be dead, and soon we'll all be dead. And soon we'll all be in the ground.

And I think that's healthy. I like it.

Marc: However you can accept death, I think it's a good way to go. That's the one thing we don't want to confront. Or we want to deny. But I think you get to a certain age. I always knew that I would die. But when you get older you're like... it might be soon.

Julia: OK, here's my new thing... I'm actually trying to think about death a lot. Like, just think about it.

Marc: Why?

Julia: I think it gives me this more palpable sensation with being alive.

Marc: Accept it and realize it.

Julia: Kind of contemplate death. Just to have it. But, anyway, my new thing is that when I see babies anywhere, I think that when that baby is my age, I won't be alive. It gives you a little tingle. It's coming up. Soon I will not be around.

Marc: I don't like that.

Julia: I don't know why that makes me... it's that time of life.

[End excerpt from the 11/24/2014 Marc Maron WTF Podcast]

Personally, I'm inclined to believe that when you die, you're dead. Although when God returns there will be a resurrection of the dead and God will establish his kingdom here on earth. Meaning, I don't believe in heaven being a place in the sky where people go when they die (a place where they sit around on clouds playing harps, etc).

But I do believe there is an afterlife, which Julia Sweeney, as an atheist, does not. And I don't understand why contemplating death would produce a "palpable sensation with being alive". If I believed that this life was all there was, the sensation it would produce in me is hopelessness. Because life is ALL SO POINTLESS. I mean, any one individual person's life is (in the big picture sense) incredibly short. And then you die. And if you're GONE FOREVER, what is the point? Your loved ones will remember you, and you will "live on" in that sense (in their memories), but they too will die one day. And then you will be wiped from existence.

Historically significant (and famous people) will "live" on. In the history books and in pictures and on film. But, for the rest of us, it will be as if we never existed. And that day will come quickly (given the short amount of time any individual person has on earth). The point is that I just couldn't go on if I thought there was NO POINT to this life. Which, IMO, if you die and that is it? Then there is no point. Given how short life is, meaning that the time you will be here will be insignificant compared to the time you (weren't) and won't be here.

So I can't fathom why thinking of death would be something an atheist would do. I would fear it greatly if I thought that was the end. Or, actually, I'd think let's get to it. Since life is completely meaningless and therefore why live it?

But if Sweeney were still religious? Then her view on death would make more sense to me. Even though, she ISN'T going to be spending a lot of time in the Spokane cemetery, since you cease to exist when you die. Atheists spend time nowhere after death. Not that I think anyone spends time anywhere after death. They may or may not hang around anywhere. I'm not sure, which is why I said I'm INCLINED to believe that when you're dead you're dead. But that God will resurrect the dead when he returns.

Soon we WILL all be dead. And soon we WILL all be in the ground. Or cremated (another inane Catholic rule rewrite. Before cremation was bad and your soul would be in trouble if you were cremated, but now it's acceptable). But I do think that's healthy. As opposed to being a "dismal outlook". It absolutely does NOT, however, give "me this more palpable sensation with being alive". Although I can imagine for someone that it might. Just not an atheist. That an atheist would look at death this way is something I seriously do not understand.

Note that she said that her husband's side of the family does not talk about death. And that they are 3rd generation Jewish atheist. She does, and that is (I think) a holdover from being Catholic. But as an atheist, believing that when you're dead that's it. THAT, I think is a significantly more dismal outlook. And, for me - as a serious pessimist who embraces a dismal outlook - that's a dark place that I can't go.

Video: Episode 553 of Marc Maron's WTF Podcast from 11/24/2014. Note: I start the video at 28:25 because that is when the interview with Julia Sweeney begins (Marc interviews someone else first). The portion I quote above begins at 30:41.

SWTD #364

The Day The World Ended

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine ~ Lyric from the REM 1987 song with the same title.

You probably aren't aware of it, but the end of the world has come and gone. The world ended on 3/6/1982. It was a Sunday. The significance of this day is that this is date on which a mentally ill lunatic named Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum (AKA Ayn Rand) died.

Tom Snyder: I kind of think of this as ongoing, that there is an eternity, and that we are going to be a part of that eternity, that we aren't just corpses in graves when we die. Ayn Rand: But we are not corpses in graves. We are not there. Don't you understand that when this life is finished, you're not there to say "Oh how terrible that I'm a corpse". What I've always thought is a sentence from a Greek philosopher, I don't remember, unfortunately, who it was, that I read at 16, and it's affected me all my life. "I will not die. It's the world that will end". (Interview is from the 7/02/1979 broadcast of Tomorrow with Tom Snyder. As per Wikipedia, "unique one-on-one exchanges were common to the program").

Rand is clearly talking about the END of the world and not just the end of the world "as she knows it" (to paraphrase REM). And, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the world continued on after 3/6/1982. 34 years (plus 2 months and 21 days) have passed since Rand kicked the bucket. Longer since the day her most loyal acolyte Alan Greenspan (one of the primary architects of the bush recession) placed a "floral arrangement in the shape of a dollar sign" near her casket [1]. Which was strange, given the fact that Rand wasn't there. Seeing as she WASN'T a corpse in a box buried under the earth, it surely was a pointless gesture.

Also pointless was the fact that Rand left a will. Wikipedia says Rand's will "named Leonard Peikoff the heir to her estate", but I'm thinking this info must be erroneous and she did NOT leave a will. Given the fact that Leonard Peikoff ceased to exist the second Rand bit it. Why the hell would Rand leave a will if she knew the world was going to end when she died?

Obviously Rand was nuts. One of the manifestations of her mental illness being her sociopathic belief that the universe revolved around her and that when she died that was the end. Not just for her, but for everybody. A fact Liberal Talker Thom Hartmann commented on during the 5/24/2016 broadcast of his program.

Thom Hartmann: This [Snyder/Rand interview] gives you a glimpse into the mind of a sociopath. Sociopaths genuinely believe that when they die the world ends. That the only life that matters in the world is their life. [The sociopath believes that] in my life, I have no obligation to future generations.

This is why Objectivism, the philosophy devised by Rand, is (as George Monbiot put it) "a manifesto for psychopaths". Under this brain-diseased ideology greed and selfishness are virtues, and poor people are parasites and moochers that should be exterminated. Or, as Rand put it, "nature will take it's course". By which she meant that the parasites will die when the social safety net is completely eliminated (as Rand strongly believed it should be).

George Monbiot, a British writer, known for his environmental and political activism, expressed his thoughts on Objectivism in a 2012 article.

[Objectivism] has a fair claim to be the ugliest philosophy the post-war world has produced. Selfishness, it contends, is good, altruism evil, empathy and compassion are irrational and destructive. The poor deserve to die; the rich deserve unmediated power. ... Objectivism... holds that the only moral course is pure self-interest. We owe nothing, she insists, to anyone, even to members of our own families. She described the poor and weak as "refuse" and "parasites", and excoriated anyone seeking to assist them. Apart from the police, the courts and the armed forces, there should be no role for government: no social security, no public health or education, no public infrastructure or transport, no fire service, no regulations, no income tax. ... Rand's is the philosophy of the psychopath, a misanthropic fantasy of cruelty, revenge and greed. (A Manifesto for Psychopaths by George Monbiot. 3/5/2012).

Obviously the world would end for a LOT of people if Rand's philosophy were instituted at a governmental level. In that they would die. Alan Greenspan, when he instituted Randian ideology in his capacity as chairman of the Fed (laissez faire capitalism/deregulation), almost killed our economy. Although what he did afterward (going along with bailouts) is where he parted with Randian ideology (or Libertarians will tell you, at least). Rand would have said our economy should be allowed to crash and burn.

Not that I agree with how the bailout were constructed. Instead of rescuing the fatcat banksters, I believe the banks should have been nationalized and the homeowners bailed out. But the way it was done benefited the rich and powerful while many others (members of the middle and lower classes) suffered. Which is one aspect of this crisis that surely would have made Rand smile.

According to the British Journal of Psychiatry "a dramatic spike in suicides between 2008 and 2010 can be linked with the economic crisis" (More Than 10,000 Suicides Tied To Economic Crisis, Study Says). So maybe Rand wouldn't have smiled. Not because people died, but because NOT ENOUGH people died (given how much she hated poor people and wished them dead).

In any case, the world clearly goes on, despite Ayn Rand's departure. Although the world is surely a worse place due to the fact that her sociopathic ideology is "sorely needed right now"... or so Republican politicians like Speaker Paul Ryan believe.

And the Randian goal of maximizing income inequality would surely lead to the world ending for a LOT more people. As, in addition to the 2008 economic crisis driving 10k people to take their own lives, Republican economic policies in general have this effect (Conservative Policies are Driving Americans to Suicide).

Unfortunately for us all Ayn Rand, while she did die and most assuredly is a corpse in the grave, the sociopathic Objectivism lives on. Given that it spawned the political ideology Libertarianism [2], as well as infecting the Republican Party (OST #61).

Which is why I say it's time to make Objectivism/Libertarianism a figurative corpse in the grave. By sending it to the the trash heap of history where it belongs.

Footnotes
[1] Once in government, Greenspan applied his guru's philosophy to the letter, lobbying to cut taxes for the rich and repeal the laws constraining the banks, refusing to regulate the predatory lending and the derivatives trading which eventually brought the system down. ...as Adam Curtis's documentary showed last year, the most devoted member of her inner circle was Alan Greenspan. Among the essays he wrote for Ayn Rand were those published in a book he co-edited with her called Capitalism: the Unknown Ideal. Here, starkly explained, you'll find the philosophy he brought into government. There is no need for the regulation of business... as the greed of the businessman or, more appropriately, his profit-seeking ...is the unexcelled protector of the consumer. (Excerpted from A Manifesto for Psychopaths by George Monbiot).
[2] Even though "Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism has been and continues to be a major influence on the libertarian movement, particularly in the United States and many libertarians justify their political views using aspects of Objectivism", Ayn Rand said (of Libertarianism) "I do not join or endorse any political group or movement. More specifically, I disapprove of, disagree with and have no connection with, the latest aberration of some conservatives". (Libertarianism and Objectivism & The Ayn Rand Lexicon: What was Ayn Rand's view of the libertarian movement?).

Video: Writer/Author & philosopher, Aynd Rand & broadcast legend, Tom Snyder discuss the subject of death, dying, and the soul, during this brief clip from Rand's interview with Tom Snyder" (3:17).

SWTD #335, ARHP #3.

My Message From The Afterlife

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck -- George Carlin (5/12/1937 to 6/22/2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, actor, and writer/author who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.

I would have paid for my gas using the credit card scanner located on the pump, but a sign said "out of order, please pay inside". While inside I decided to grab a 32 ounce soda from the fizzy drink dispenser (despite Mr. Bloomberg's warnings). After adding a minimal amount of ice to my cup, I filled it to the tippy-top with the possibly diabetes-causing caramel-colored liquid. I approached the cash register to pay when I noticed a man brandishing a firearm. He was pointing it at the frightened clerk manning the counter.

The robber hadn't seem me yet, so I wondered if I should try to be a hero. "Empty out the register", the ski-mask-wearing thief demanded. I was considering whether or not I should tackle him when the man suddenly pivoted to the side, keeping one eye on the clerk he waved his gun around, alternately pointing it at me and the frightened attendant. "Get over here", he yelled, indicating I should move toward the counter. "Don't try to be a hero", he warned.

Realizing I was in a situation in which I could very well lose my life, my hands started shaking. As I moved in the direction the thief commanded I suddenly fumbled my soda, spilling it all over him. Thinking I was making my move, the robber panicked and fired his weapon. Then everything went dark. I knew I was lying on the floor, but could not feel my body. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to see myself prostrate in a pool of blood.

I saw the robber grab the cash and run out of the store. The attendant behind the counter picked up a phone and dialed. "Hello, 911?" she said. "I was just held up by a man with a gun! Send an ambulance quick, a customer was shot!". "I feel just fine" I tried to tell her, but she did not seem to hear me. It was then that I felt myself drifting toward the ceiling. It occurred to me that I must be dead, but instead of panicking a odd sense of calm came over me.

"Now I know for certain there is life after death" I thought. And it appeared as though no shadow demons like in that Ghost movie starring Patrick Swayze were going to show up either, which was a good thing. I continued to float toward the ceiling, and then through it. Before I knew it I was hovering over the roof of the gas station. A bright light appeared in the sky and I involuntarily moved toward it. Clearly it must be the portal to Heaven. I found that if I resisted I could move in any direction I chose, but decided to allow whatever force was guiding me to move me in the direction of the light.

Soon I was there, and found I was correct about it being a portal, but the white light was so intense that I could not see what lay beyond. Whatever force was guiding me nudged me toward the lip of the portal. "I guess I enter the light and see what happens next". And so I did. Instantly I was propelled forward at what must have been a great velocity, although I only deduced that from the visual cues. If not for those it seemed as though I was not moving at all.

I moved rapidly though the tunnel of light... it was very much like how travel though a wormhole as depicted on the television series Stargate SG1 starring that MacGyver dude, Richard Dean Anderson. After what could have been either a few minutes or a few hours, I reached my destination and was ejected from the tube of light. Looking back I saw the tube fold in on itself, forever sealing off the route by which I had arrived here. "Where was here, exactly?" I thought, taking in my new surroundings.

Apparently I was up among the clouds, although this couldn't possibly be the sky above earth, as everything was much too white. White clouds moved against a white background. There appeared to be a solid surface beneath my feet, but I could not see it. I was reminded of that Warren Beatty film, Heaven Can Wait. I hoped an angel didn't appear and tell me I wasn't supposed to be dead... that I had been removed from my body by mistake and was going to be sent back in someone else's body. I wasn't sure I would like that.

Off in the distance I saw a figure moving in my direction. As the figure got closer I saw it was a angelic looking woman who was floating toward me on a beam of light. "I am a representative of the Creator", the angelic green-eyed brunette intoned, her voice sounding almost musical. "Hello", I replied nervously. I considered asking her what the 411 was, but decided against it. Then the angelic woman spoke again, saying "You may call me Monica". No, her voice wasn't musical I decided, instead it sounded like she had a faint Irish accent.

"Someone called Jerry told you that the Ancient Aliens TV program is no less believable that the Bible. The Heavenly Father wants you to know that simply isn't the case. Most of what is said on that program is far from the truth, while the opposite is true when it comes to the Bible" Monica said. "How odd" I thought. Odd that God would want to impart to me some information regarding a TV show. Also odd that most of it is far from the truth. Which must mean that some of it is close to the truth? "That is correct" the woman said, obviously reading my mind.

Something else suddenly occurred to me, so I decided to ask her about it instead of pursuing the Ancient Aliens mystery any further (at least not now). "Aren't my dead relatives supposed to be the ones who greet me?", I inquired. "Usually that is the case", Monica confirmed, "but you are not here to stay. You were not supposed to die in the gas station convenience store". "So you're sending me back", I said, barely believing my Heaven Can Wait guess was accurate.

"No, this isn't like Heaven Can Wait", Monica said, correcting me. Nor is it like Touched by an Angel, despite my name being Monica. "Huh?" I replied. "I've never seen that particular program. I've heard of it, but never watched even one episode". "Sorry" I added, thinking she might be offended that I wasn't a viewer of a program about angels. Monica explained... "by coincidence the main character of that program and I have the same name". But she reconsidered going into further detail. "Never mind. It isn't important".

"You're to be sent back in the body of a canine, like in the Chevy Chase film Oh! Heavenly Dog". "Really?" I incredulously replied. "No, that was a joke", Monica said, laughing. "You are being sent back in your own body. As for why... it just isn't your time. You were supposed to heed the advice of the mayor of New York and pass on that Big Gulp". "I was thirsty" I protested. Monica silenced me with a wave of her hand. "There is more you must know before returning", Monica said before pausing briefly.

"What the extraterrestrials told you is accurate. Your destiny is to play a small but not insignificant role in the salvation of humanity. Now, before that bit of information causes your ego to swell, let me emphasize the word SMALL. Your blog will convince a few MORE important individuals that they should get politically active and support Progressive causes. They will go on to play a greater role in the eternal struggle of good versus evil".

"Also, a warning" Monica said with a very serious look on her face. "There are those who want to stop you. That is why you decided to buy that large soda. A suggestion was planted in your head by those who wish you ill. These dark forces cannot manifest themselves in the physical world, but there are other methods by which they can influence events in the mortal realm. You must learn to identify when they are attempting to intervene and cause you harm, and ignore their suggestions in the future. Just listen to your gut and you should be OK".

"I will be not be permitted to help you again", Monica said. "At least not this ham handedly. I know you have many more questions, but that is all I can tell you. Now it is time for you to return". As Monica finished speaking a bright light appeared behind her. "This is the portal back to the world of the living" she explained, turning to face a brightly glowing disc. "But, I have so many more questions", I almost protested, but could not as Monica rudely shoved me into the portal before I could speak again.

A blindingly bright light engulfed me, and I expected I would soon be whizzing along a Stargate-like wormhole once again. Instead an overhead light appeared, and I realized I was flat on my back. A man wearing a surgical mask touched a electrical paddle to my chest, shocking me. "His heart has resumed beating" a nurse said. "He's back", the doctor confirmed, sounding relieved.

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