Sunday, March 20, 2011

Liberal Shill Reveals Why The Left Hates America

...I have tremendous pride in being a Left-wing Liberal shill. I think that it's a fine thing to be in favor of the people rather than the corporations in America. If you want to call and defend the rights of millionaires and billionaires, or the rights of corporations to trample on us, or the rights of the health insurers to rescind our policies when we get sick, or to say, no we won't insure your kid, that's fine. I'll own up to the fact that I'm on the opposite side of that argument... proudly ~ Radio talk show host Thom Hartmann, responding to a Conservative caller's accusation that he was without pride in bashing the Right (The Thom Hartmann Program, 1/6/011).

I ran the title of my latest blog post by my local division chief, Laura Fawkes. "That's a blog post an EX-Liberal would publish", she exclaimed. "You're not planning on leaving the fold, are you?", Laura inquired. "No mam", I said, "it's just that readership at Sleeping with the Devil is way down... I was looking for a headline that would grab people's attention".

"Try something involving sex and the notorious Liberal acceptance of that which is deviant", the division chief suggested. "I apologize, but, even though I'm a Liberal, that kind of thing just isn't second nature for me", I lamented. "Perhaps we should meet later tonight so I can impart some experience which may prove useful in stimulating your creativity".

"There already is a blog that uses that gimmick", I said, turning to leave. "It's called The Stinkhole of Moral Depravity. I can't just copy someone else's blog. I have to do my own thing". "Your loss", said the division chief as her office door swung shut behind me. I slunk back to my office and flicked on the lights. To my surprise, there, sitting at my desk was detective Smurf Jones.

"You again", I exclaimed. "I already told you, I don't know where any of the bodies are buried. The union bosses don't trust me with that information". "Come on", said Jones, "I have it on good authority that you're currently working on a post for your blog which reveals why the Left hates America".

"Exactly how did you come by this information?", I asked, shocked. "Anyway, that title was only meant to draw people into reading my blog, I wasn't really going to reveal why Liberals hate America... because they don't". "They love it".

"Sure", Jones remarked sarcastically. "On the other hand, perhaps you're telling the truth... about the title, not that Liberals don't hate America. Because I know for a fact that they do. Anyway, I've been looking over your computer files and see a lot of half completed articles. They all seem to concern the vast Right-wing conspiracy and how Conservatism is ruining America. Typical Liberal crap, in other words", Jones said disgustedly. "Honestly, Liberals make me sick. I was hoping that perhaps you'd come to your senses".

"No such luck, detective". "I'm a Liberal through and through, and will be so till the day I die. And, even though my readers have apparently abandoned me, I'll continue blogging about what I believe in".

"My captain back at Thought Police headquarters somehow got it into his head that Sleeping with the Devil was one of the more prestigious Liberal blogs", detective Jones remarked. "But", Jones continued, "he was obviously wrong. I'm sad to say that this will be the last time I visit you. I've finished my report on your blog and my conclusion is that it sucks and nobody reads it".

"Inconsequential and unworthy of further attention is my report's conclusion", Jones said with a grin on his face. "I'm disappointed that my investigation didn't turn up any dirt, but it always makes my day to put a smug self-righteous Liberal in his place... by letting him know his pathetic blog is a total waste of time. You got a couple of followers but it does not appear as though any of them ever returned after initially adding you to their reading list".

"I'm glad my failure to attract a readership amuses you", I lied. "Perhaps I'll take your advice and shut down Sleeping with The Devil. It's been almost two months since I published anything anyway. If anyone has visited recently they probably concluded that the blog HAD been shuttered".

"I like your defeatist attitude, Liberal". Detective Jones patted me on the shoulder as he exited the room. "That's it, I'm done for the day", I said out loud as I powered down my computer. "The decision regarding whether or not additional blog posts are ever published shall be decided later".

SWTD #62, PIF #1.

6 comments:

  1. damn it w!! I'm guilty of not visiting you, but ask anyone, I haven't been visiting much lately. I can't concentrate and leave an intelligent comment so I refrain. I'm so sorry, I wish I could bring you out of the doldrums...

    Have you signed up at Open Salon with Boomer Bob like I suggested??

    I know I've said it before, you are a terrific writer, you just need to find your niche. Please don't leave us w, you're family!

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  2. You're always welcome in the fold of the morally depraved WD.

    I just chose this to screw with my old nemesis Professor Donald Douglas.

    Truth be told, neither of us is making a difference anyway. Might as well have some fun. May some pics of you cavorting on the beach with a nude Ann Coulter would help.

    Got any buddy?

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  3. OMG a nude Ann Coulter! LOL. We definitely don't need that. How about some nude pics of Brad Pitt and George Clooney!

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  4. So, you wanna know why you are not one of the elite liberal blogs?

    First off WD, you cannot claim to be a Christian and a Liberal...

    Christianity is for the "unwashed masses"

    Second, you take politics way too seriously! You see, liberals don't really care for politics...its just something they do to amuse themselves with.

    Finally, you have to understand you expect the democrats to toe the line and stand up for what they promise....

    The fact is the liberal elites believe it is the masses who must blindly follow THEM...you see, its the unwashed masses who do not know what is good for them, its the unwashed masses who vote contrary to their best interests (you and I do not know what is in our best interests but rather its the liberals that do!)

    So, Welcome to the world of the SILENCED MAJORITY (there that would be an awesome name for a blog)

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  5. Don't you mean "Democrat Party elites"? I think you're confusing, or not recognizing, the distinction between the DLC/Corporate/Neo-Liberal wing of the Democratic Party and the Liberal/Progressive wing of the Democratic Party.

    Progressive talk radio host Thom Hartmann says the first party that embraces protectionist trade policies will start winning elections gangbusters... he hopes it's the Democrats. Thom Hartmann isn't quite ready to declare total victory for the neo-liberals, nor am I.

    The Republican Great Depression of 1929 paved the way for a Liberal Government... Ravi Batra (with his book, "The New Golden Age") and Thom Hartmann both believe we're on the verge of another pendulum swing back from the Right and toward the Left.

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  6. WD....when I went a voted in 2008 and then watching the returns I THOUGHT that the pendulum was swinging toward liberalism...

    But then all the old guys in the democratic party who control the senate pretty much destroyed that dream over the course of two years!

    ReplyDelete

Unfortunately comment moderation is necessary in order to screen out insanity from an idiot calling himself "Luke" of the "Words And Music" blog (a liar who has made bogus accusations that many others are stealing his posts) as well as homophobic hate from TOM of the blog "Stay A While" (actually the same person).