It's a really convoluted and time-consuming way to wage jihad, to be sure, but when your goal is to destroy Western Civilization, you'll stop at nothing ~ Tim Murphy of Mother Jones Magazine; as quoted in his 3/16/2011 article, "The Return of the Terror Babies".
"Hey! Careful, you almost knocked over my abortion!" detective Tony Hawkins shouted at the intern who had just rudely bumped his desk. "That was a personal gift from the Representative" Hawkins bellowed at the cowering teenager. "Easy, the kid didn't do it on purpose" his partner Smurf Jones cautioned.
"If anything happens to this" he said, pointing to the jar on his desk, "I'm going to hold you personally responsible, runt" Hawkins growled, grabbing the frightened youngster by the collar. "Yes, sir" the intern squeaked, his prepubescent voice cracking. "You see to it", said Hawkins, releasing him.
The intern scurried off. "You know" Jones said, "the abortion Representative Ghomert was referring to was ObamaCare, and not an actual human fetus in a jar. That thing on your desk couldn't possibly have come from the Representative". "Well" Hawkins replied, "The messenger that delivered it said it was from Ghomert's office". "And", he continued, "there's a personal message attached". "It says, to my favorite TP detective, yours truly, LG".
"Whatever" said Jones, "I think it's disgusting and you should get rid of it". "That's the point" Hawkins explained, "Abortion isn't pretty. This specimen would have grown up to become a contributing member of society, if some murderous Liberal hadn't convinced it's poor mother to terminate it".
"Can we go already?" Jones asked. "Just let me grab my bazooka" Hawkins replied, striding across the precinct room floor toward the weapons locker. Later, after he had retrieved his weapon, he met up with Jones outside the station. Hawkins slammed down the cruiser's trunk (after placing his weapon inside) and then slid into the front seat. "Representative Gohmert is counting on us", Hawkins informed his partner. "This is a top secret mission straight from Washington" he continued, "my Canadian contact believes a busload of pregnant Muslim females may be attempting to cross over sometime in the next several days".
"Dirty Canadian socialists" Jones muttered under his breath. "It's not much better here", Hawkins agreed, "at least the last election went a ways to setting things straight". "Without ACORN to steal votes they can't win" Jones remarked. "What I wouldn't give to be the one who personally slaps the cuffs on the Kenyan and escorts him from the White House" Hawkins replied.
"Are you forgetting that ObamaCare was recently ruled unconstitutional?" Jones asked his partner. "At most he'll be president for two more years. Thanks to the efforts of the Tea Party he won't be able to run again in 2012. So far 11 states have proposed legislation requiring proof of citizenship from anyone running for POTUS in their state".
"From your lips to God's ears" Hawkins sighed. "The long national nightmare is close to being over. And with a Republican-controlled House to hold him in check the poser can't do any more damage while he illegally occupies the White House. The only thing I'm worried about is funding for our special task force", Hawkins continued. "Or I would be, if funding for our department was actually on the books". Both Hawkins and Jones laughed. "That's a good one" Jones said with tears in his eyes. Then they drove, arriving at the Canadian border approximately 13 hours later.
"You book us a room while I make contact with my informant" Hawkins told his partner. "Will do" said Jones. He checked in and waited. A half-hour later Hawkins returned. "Here's the scoop" Hawkins said, filling his partner in. "My contact believes a bus full of nuns that crossed the border yesterday was a dry run for the terror baby plot". "That's good news", Jones grinned, "I'm looking forward to nailing these bitches. And by nail I mean arrest, not have sex with". "You said it, partner" Hawkins agreed. "We'll deport the Godless Muslim whores back to Islamistan, or whatever third-world hellhole they originated from".