Buddy Bunny slunk in and out of the shadows. The moon was high in the heavens and the stars shone brightly. He was careful to not be spotted as he stalked his prey -- Pulchellus, the impossibly cute gold dragon.
Buddy's heart hardened. He reached inside his sweatshirt's kangaroo pocket, feeling around for his pocket pistol.
"You will die tonight", Buddy whispered as his eyes narrowed. He had been assured this would do the trick, given that Pulchellus had recently molted his scales, a part of the normal dragon growth process.
Stalking him for months, looking for a weakness, suddenly it became clear. That was the day Buddy saw the normally scaled dragon completely lacking them.
With scales a dragon is nearly invulnerable. Without them? He should be able to pull it off.
"Lawful Good, my fluffy bunny tail", Buddy scoffed.
Then he remembered his tail was gone. As were his ears and whiskers. The painful memories flooded back. That horrible day when flames consumed his burrow, the conflagration nearly burning him alive. Unfortunately he lived. Though numerous members of his fluffle perished, incinerated in an instant.
While convalescing in the hospital burn unit, he saw a news report that shocked him. The nurse flipped on the TV and left the room. As a morphine drip eased his pain, an Enchanted Forest News Tonight reporter cheerfully related the story of a dragon fire-breathing contest that, previously unbeknownst to him, took place near his warren.
Then he saw the footage that clearly incriminated the culprit -- Pulchellus, the world-famous, impossibly cute gold dragon, star of the eponymous TV show, Pulchellus: The Impossibly Cute Gold Dragon.
Buddy Bunny, rising from the flowers, a lone figure of vengeance, drew his weapon and fired.
Hearing a pop, Pulchellus turned.
"Owe!" the surprised dragon exclaimed as the bullet pierced his breast. "That hurt!"
Pulchellus looked down and saw a spot of sunlit plasma (dragon blood) on his favorite T-shirt. "Why did you do that?" he inquired as he poked the hole.
"You are a strange looking chap", the befuddled dragon remarked as he dug out the bullet and flicked it away. "That wasn't very nice". His scowl deepened as he traced the bullet hole with one claw. "Ruined. This was my favorite shirt. I got this at the DragonStock festival last year".
Buddy's jaw dropped. The wizard he purchased the Dragonbane bullet from was positive it would work. Even though his low caliber pea-shooter could not possibly penetrate dragon scale. But with no scales? Pulchellus should be dead.
Buddy let out a strangled cry of defeat. "You may as well finish me off!" the earless coney wailed.
"What do you mean? You assaulted me". The dragon blinked at him, utterly baffled. This little dude might be off his rocker. Perhaps he was an obsessed fan?
"Hey, man, I'll give you a pass this time, but I better never see you again". Then he left. Pulchellus had to be on the set tomorrow bright and early and didn't have time to waste with this weird little dude.
As the dragon departed Buddy regained his composure. This wasn't over. He would reassess and formulate a new plan. He found the Dragonbane bullet on the ground and picked it up. First thing tomorrow he'd hop over to the Wizard's shop and demand a full refund. Obviously it was defective.
swtd-443. ant-3. Previous. Next.
