Don't you understand that when this life is finished, you're not there to say "Oh how terrible that I'm a corpse". What I've always thought is a sentence from a Greek philosopher, I don't remember, unfortunately, who it was, that I read at 16, and it's affected me all my life. "I will not die. It's the world that will end" -- Ayn Rand, appearing on the 7/2/1979 broadcast of Tomorrow with Tom Snyder.
You would be shocked by the identity of the individual from whom the next message I received came. If I had not revealed who it was in the title of this post, that is. Yes, it was (the deceased) Ayn Rand. The woman who founded the evil ideology known as Objectivism. So evil that it inspired the founder of the Church of Satan, Anton LeVay, who modeled his religion on it.
This message was delivered after Mrs. Rand emerged, burning, from the Lake of Fire. As per Wikipedia "in both ancient Egyptian and Christian religion, the Lake of Fire is as a place of after-death destruction of the wicked". Given that she was a truly evil woman, it was not a surprise, upon reflection, that Ayn Rand ended up here.
I was still seated at the far end of a 60 foot table, set with a rotting banquet. My host, a "Mr. Charles" (AKA the Lord of the Land of Nightmares) waved his hand, and, as if beckoned, a figure emerged from the Lake of Fire several yards behind us (a tributary of it, actually, given the fact that I was not in hell, but in the Land of Nightmares, but I digress).
The figure approached, aflame and screaming in agony. With another wave of his hand, the flames were suddenly extinguished. An ancient (but surprisingly unburnt, although completely nude) Ayn Rand pulled out a chair opposite me and took a seat.
"I desperately need a cigarette Frederick" the woman said in a Russian accent. Frederick produced a pack from inside his cloak, lit one, and placed it in the quivering hand of the jonesing nicotine addict. "This tastes so good" Rand remarked after taking a long drag. "To bad smoking is what killed you" Charles replied. "That's a load of horse manure" Rand protested. "There is zero conclusive, nonstatistical proof that smoking causes cancer".
"Yes, of course" Charles remarked sarcastically. "I think you might know who this is" Charles said, turning his head to look at me. Rand's eyes met mine, then she said "I have heard that you write nasty things about me. Things that are untrue. I do not hate poor people at all. If I were still alive I would sue you for libel, you cretinous scumbag".
The elderly Mrs Rand shook with rage as she continued. "Poor people hate themselves. They would not choose poverty is they had any respect for themselves. The poor are the lowest forms of life in existence and should be exterminated".
A few moments of silence passed. "Isn't there one other thing you wanted to tell Mr. Sanders" Charles finally said. "A reprieve from Hell for a damned soul is not something that is easily obtained". Rand, who had been silently smoking, drawing long, deep inhalations from her cigarette glanced at Charles, snuffed out her smoke in the carcass of a rotting turkey, then spoke.
"I would leap across the table and strangle this pissant to death right now if I possessed the strength" Rand hissed as she stared at me with a look of pure hate plastered on her face. "Calm yourself, Ayn", Mr. Charles remarked, looking slightly annoyed. "I am calm" Rand objected. "I'm just saying that it would bring me great pleasure to see the light go from his eyes as I choked the life out of him".
"I would be more than happy to let you do it" Charles replied. "But Dervish has protectors in high places, unfortunately". At first I was a little shaken by the fury of the angry Rand, but now I laughed. Although, remembering where I was, I stifled it and all that emerged was a single "ha". "What's that!" the Objectivist founder roared. "How dare you!". This time she did leap to her feet, but Charles blocked her with his hand.
His hand on her chest, Charles gave one of Rand's old sagging titties a squeeze, then he reached down and grabbed her by the privates. "I call this move the Trump" Charles said.
"This Trump obviously knows what women like" Rand purred, grinding her decrepit nether region against Charles' hand. If I had eaten anything recently the display would certainly have caused me to lose my lunch. It surely was a nightmare to behold.
Seeking to interrupt the two, I blurted "I guess the world didn't end on 3/6/1982, despite your belief that it would". "Very funny" Rand replied, taking a seat.
"I admit the world did not end as I thought it would. No matter. From what I hear this Trump will soon be your president. Although I hear he is elected over a woman. Obviously a dyke, as a woman should not want to be president".
"I also hear that the Trump has promised to do away with subsidies for poor maggots to obtain health care [1]. The perverse morality of altruism is the LAST thing America needs. Although Charles says a socialist dystopia is only to be averted thanks to the intervention of the Dark One".
"The Dark One? I thought you were an atheist" I replied. "There is no better cure for atheism than death" Charles chuckled softly. "Now I am done with you, Dervish. Begone. And YOU", Charles said, turning to Rand. "It is time for you to live up to your claim of being an expert sword swallower". Charles rose and began tugging at a length of rope around his waist. Once removed his pants fell to the ground, revealing a burned and shriveled member.
Gagging, I looked away. "Jealous?" Charles inquired. "Now get the hell out of here. My imp will show you to the exit". I looked around and saw the devilkin motioning me to follow him. Eager to leave, I walked quickly in the direction indicated, the intense heat causing my legs to feel rubbery. I heard some sucking noises and moans of pleasure as I quickened my pace, not looking back.
Another message from another individual was delivered before I finally made it back home, but that is another tale for another time. One that will be related on this blog in due course. Also (as previously mentioned) it was quite some time before the memory of what happened during my travels in the Land of Nightmares came back to me. When I finally returned home I fell into a deep sleep and, upon awaking, retained no memory at all of the messages Charles and Rand relayed to me. Not until recently, that is.
Footnote
1. "The House Republican bill [the American Health Care Act] would roll back the expansion of Medicaid that has provided coverage to more than 10 million people in 31 states... [also eliminated would be the] income-based tax credits that help millions of Americans buy insurance"... (Republicans Introduce Obamacare Replacement That Leaves Much To Be Desired).
